Thank you all for the replies.
I definitely gave the highlight reel, so don't get discouraged anyone.
I (we) have had the roughest, toughest, trying- yet best year of my life.
We were on state assistance/food stamps, I am in debt to my old landlord (she was a god send) ExAH played mind games the entire time and we have moved in with my family. So it's not all perfect. But I am totally in control of my life and my own emotions. I can literally do whatever the feck I want, any day any time, and ask zero permission and answer to noone. No longer do I have to feel like choosing between focusing on my children or a giant man baby. That is priceless to me. Things are looking up and I have time to recharge and save money, reboot life.
I just wanted to reiterate that you can chose to leave at anytime, it may get terrible at first, but it will get better, way better than you expect.
Now my most insignificant days are 1000 times better than my best days with my Ah/Narc. And that is the TRUTH!!!!