Originally Posted by
dandylion 
If you and your father make changes....this changes the picture for your mother...…
I don't see where you or your father would stand to lose anything, by this action…..
And.....going to alanon IS healthy for you and/or your father!
dandy, EG stated in another thread that her father is a functioning A, so I don't know that he's going to be much of a support for EG in this situation, nor do I think he's going to be going to Alanon...it would be great if there was another sober family member, but it didn't sound like it in the other thread.
EG, I think you've absolutely made the right decision by staying clear of this situation. Based on what I read in your other thread, I think there is one person you can save, and it's YOU. If anyone else sees what you're doing and decides to follow suit, kudos to them, but I do believe your first priority has to be yourself. You cannot possibly undo the years of toxicity in your parents' lives, no matter how much you might want to do so.
EG's other thread is here
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...alcoholic.html (Mum is an alcoholic.) for anyone who wants a bit of background.
ETA: Apparently EG and I were posting at the same time.