Dandylion, he absolutely is. There are mountains of wine in their house and he is the one that buys it, gets it from the fridge, pours it into her glass. I believe my dad is also an alcoholic all be it more of a functioning one than my mum.
He would absolutely never to to an alanon meeting, he had a gambling problem a few years ago and refused to get help for that. It seems he has it under control now but it has cost them alot and not just money. I have asked him to think about giving up drinking himself and it has been washed over but I will ask him just because as you say there would be nothing to lose.
Thank you.