Thanks everyone!
So far, so good. He did actually check in this morning (I assume - I got a text saying they were taking his phone at about the right time at least). I was frankly a little skeptical he would follow through. He said he would stay as long as they recommend and go straight into the IOP. Our insurance is covering at least a large portion of all of this - thank God!
A funny (but sad) little story - I spoke briefly with my youngest's teacher this am since she tends to be affected by things a lot and act out. This teacher also taught my older one last year ... when she had just divorced. Turns out, she offered me the name of her wonderful therapist - she divorced her AH after he refused to seek help. On the one hand it's nice that she understands, on the other it's really sad this is all around us and we don't even really know it.
I will be taking the days as they come "cautiously optimistic" lol!