Good luck startingagain02! This is a great place to get support, to seek answers, or to just vent. Most of us have been through some pretty rotten experiences ourselves, so we aren't likely to judge. Many of us can also relate to the "all or nothing" approach that you describe. That is one of the traits that tends to lead us down a path of addiction, but it also leads many of us to accomplish cool things. You can do this! Good luck!