Morning, weekendears (it's not a typo)
I grossly overslept.
It's a sunny day but I want just to chill out in bed all day and make yet another effort to pull my thoughts together.
I feel like my life has suddenly fell into pieces and I am struggling to recover the unifying element which holds everything where it belongs.
The situation at work is ridiculous. The big boss doesn't sign my letter of resignation for some reason (and no, not because I am irreplaceable employee), some very complicated politics. So I have to drag myself at the office (2 hours one way) to do nothing.
I am about to shoot myself out of misery (it's a parabole, I don't have a gun).
Tomorrow my immediate boss is back from vacation, I am going to discuss it with him is the situation stays the same.
I think I have some kind of "mid-recovery" crisis so to speak.
I will be 6 years sober in 2 weeks and in my mind be this time I should have conquered the world at least.
I devalue everything I've accomplished as "no big deal" "it was high time to accomplish it", which robs me of the foundation to build my future progress and momentum on.
I am struggling to find one kind word for myself that would really resonate with my emotions. Anything good about myself - I don't believe it, I immediately bounce it back.
So, I am being totally selfish now and would appreciate any kind words to help me get out of the dark place.
Glad to hear that Trach is taking care of himself.
Now I need to catch up with your posts.
See you later.