You are a human being who is hurting-and not a joke
The only way out is through but in the early days it does seem like "through " will never end. But it will if you can first put the sober days together and things will get clearer and the sharp emotions begin to soften as your brain and body heal.
I didn't realize how much my mind was impacted by the physical damage I had from alcohol abuse. I felt hopeless at first but things gradually felt lighter which seems a common outcome many here have.
Little things like cuddling with your dog or clean sheets on the bed are good first steps.
You are stronger than you know. Each day take small positive steps to be kind to you even if it feels strange or awkward at first. Beginnings are like that. Journals help as a place to start planning and dreaming a better life.
You are worth it.