Unfortunately, investing a great deal of time in working out WHY you drink will not help you to stop drinking. Also, the more you keep up the drinking, the less the original reason will matter as you'll simply drink because you are unable to stop. It sounds like you're already at that stage if you suffer withdrawals and are unable to abstain for an extended period of time.
I wasted time on working out why I drank. There was no point, as all it did was delay me getting sober. Working out why doesn't give us magical powers to control our drinking and if we have to try to control it in the first place, we shouldn't be drinking. Normal people don't need to put any effort into controlling how much they drink. I instead focused that time on simply not drinking.
You'll also find that you think certain things are better under the influence because you've been so used to doing them under the influence for so long. Some substantial time sober (I'm talking months, not just five days) will help you to understand how much better these activities are without alcohol.