I have been at rock bottom for years. I have attempted to 'climb' many times, but haven't got it right yet. I'm in a very deep hole. Staying sober is difficult for me because then I have to face the rest of my problems that I let pile up for a decade. I get so overwhelmed by it all, I shut down. I don't see many beacons of hope to stay motivated. I am not suicidal, but I understand why people do commit suicide. They suffer immensely inside. Don't mean to be morbid, just stuck with no where to go.