To elaborate on my experience with Dees comments about the significant other role...my first decisions about CFa then serving were made by me, with consultation of my sponsor and other sober support. As my relationship with my now husband grew, things transitioned to a We thing, including leaving that server job and taking the first time off from work. I valued the foundation we were building and we both agreed that things needed to be discussed and jointly planned. Financially, I couldn't have gone without working for most of this current year without his income. That has impacted big things like what we will do for our "wedding party" with others is Dec, as we got married by ourselves at the courthouse last year.
Along my 2.5 and change time of sobriety, I have sought a lot of help from AA to the restaurant industry group to great drs including a psych.