Hey secretchord. You are not a loser, but I understand this feeling as I struggle with it myself. You are doing the right thing by posting here; there are people here 24/7 who will help. SR has been a vital part of my recovery.,
I never thought I could stop drinking--that I was helpless, that I was a 'loser.' I was wrong. I kept trying; it took a very traumatic event to initiate my current sobriety but I got deadly serious ( it was almost a fatal end with me) and currently have 2 years 9 months of remission from this terrible disease.
I hope you are doing well; I am thinking of you today. You can do this. We are here for you.