145 Days
I'm at a slump. A real slump. I've been craving alcohol a lot. I'm not going to drink- I know I'm not, I just am sick of constantly being in my head. Ever since my 5th step I've been so painfully aware of myself- aware of my breath, aware of my thoughts, aware of every action I do and how I'm harming myself or others. I don't feel that relief you're supposed to feel after the 5th step- I feel suffocated. A bottle of wine or two would knock me out and make me forget all this. Of course, I'd have to pick up a white chip in the morning and start the whole ******* thing over. Which would be EXTREMELY dissapointing. I'm just sick of feeling so.....sober.