Controlled drinking, so hard . I tried it a few times didn’t work. I found that my only thoughts were when can I drink and how much. Blew that plan to hell.
It was only when I figured out I just can’t drink , surrendered whatever you want to call it that things changed. A whole new world does open up for you, it just takes time to recognize it. I drank for 40 yrs. there are times that I miss it but the thought is fleeting. It was very hard for a while . Everyday I wanted to drink but I fought it and went to bed sober. Thoughts finally eased out of my mind and I’m learning to live again.
Good days, bad days, they pass, good feelings , bad feelings pass also. It’s just better