hello Incognito1, and welcome.
I've been where you're at, the "but I don't want to!!!" place....didn't want to have this problem, didn't want to miss out on whatever I thought I was going to miss out on, didn't want to have to change, didn't even want to have to look at this, didn't want to "give it up" and most certainly not for good.
and when I decided, frequently, that I DID want to quit, I kept going back even though I didn't want to.
I did once have a six-months abstinent stint which I decided on in order to then re-evaluate the situation. it was fairly easy, amazingly so.
later, I realized it had been easy because I knew I would get to drink again later.
being "pretty sure", as you are, is a place I stayed in for a long time. years of trying for control.
in the end, my only way out was and is abstinence. that word has connotations of deprivation, but has been nothing at all like that for me.
way to go on checking this out and showing up here!