Originally Posted by
marie1960 
Snickers I commend you for getting out of a toxic situation.
Physical abuse is a deal breaker. Without mutual respect ,a relationship cannot thrive
The writing is on the wall, he cannot hold down a steady job, The addiction is currently ruling his life.
I am sorry for what you have been thru, and perhaps the silver lining in this can be that you have only invested one year of your life to learn what an unacceptable quality of life we live when we allow active addicts into our intimate circle.
He is an adult, he gets to address his life issues. You are correct, he needs help, but he has to want help. There is no genie in the bottle granting wishes in this equation. Our love for them cannot wish this disease away.
Keep posting, it helps, we understand.
I couldn't believe it was happening. The physical abuse. I think I'm still in shock.
I would have had him move out weeks ago, but knowing he would love back in with his mother, who looks the other way with his using and drinking, made me hesitant. At least, I thought, here someone was calling him out and attempting to hold him responsible. In the end, it only made the lies and sneaking around happen more. I didn't know what I was going to come home to after work. I was sometimes leaving the house to get some peace.
I could not have my kids and granddaughter over when he was drinking. His behavior unpredictable. I had so much guilt!!! So isolating!!!
I didn't cause it. I can't control it. I can't cure it. I'm familiar, and have gotten involved with Alanon in the past in order to help with issues with my sister and ex-husband. He has to want to do the work to get sober. I know some meetings will help.
I deserve peace. We all do.
Thanks so much for your care and concern!