I missed this the first time you posted it. Brilliant.
When in rehab one of the crucial things I said in a meeting, both to myself and to a number of people listening, was "I'm sick of negotiating with alcohol." All of what you posted is what I meant by negotiation. It all seemed to take so much energy, and when you actually look at it, indicates that there is absolutely nothing positive about drinking.
If you are an alcoholic, the only way to stop negotiating with alcohol is to stop drinking, completely and forever.