Originally Posted by
Surfbee 
. I'm going to Iceland in a few weeks (a film festival trip) so looking forward to this but also dreading everything because everywhere I go I know he's not there for me anymore. I don't have him in my corner anymore.
No contact is a good idea... I just dread him seeing someone else... and learning about it by seeing him on the street or on social media.
But I need to accept that if his choice it to be with someone else, then that will tell me that he didn't want to love me anymore.
I pray for strength... Have to take it one day at a time... because 'weeks' and 'months' is too overwhelming.
Oh wow Surfbee! That sounds like an awesome trip!!! And what perfect timing! You'll be able to get FAR away from your ex and also have other distractions. Focus on what a neat experience this trip will be and not on him. Have an amazing time!
I get that feeling of not wanting to see him with someone else. It used to make me nauseous just thinking about it. Really stay off his social media. If you have to block him, then do it. I can tell you that this gets better. I'm at the point where there certainly would be some feelings of sadness if I saw my ex was dating, but also a feeling of relief that it wouldn't be me going through this with him again. lol. It's not like he all of a sudden is going to become this mature, supportive, respectful, sober, caring guy, you know?
We were together for 3ish years. There were issues with alcohol from the beginning, but I didn't realize or admit how big of a problem it was until I was sucked in and completely in love with him. The last 6 months were just a ****show of break-ups and make-ups and him pretty much just being drunk the whole time. Then he moved away for work, and there was another couple months of on and off, until I just realized that he was still lying to me about alcohol and wasn't going to make any meaningful efforts to change.
So, be really proud of yourself for getting out of it now. I think the biggest thing is just to realize that it is going to feel really awful (basically a detox) for a while, but it is temporary. You will recover and start to feel like yourself again, and you'll probably look at this in a whole different light and be happy that you are out.