Originally Posted by Frickaflip233

Day 8 Chung....hang in there. It took you, I'm guessing, at least a few years to get where you are....its gonna take some time to start to feel better. Could be 3-6 months.

I posted to you in another thread about the narrative that I see developing in your posts. I invite you to consider that you can actually write your narrative any way you want. If you want the past to define your present, it will. If you don't, it won't. No it's not simple, but the concept is easy.

I had a neglecting Mom too. Dad was a severe drunk, Mom just a garden variety heavy drinker. In my 20's and some of my 30's I blamed everything on my childhood or some other aspect of my life or person. And ya know, I'm sure I had a really good narrative. Sexual abuse, neglect, addiction....and so on. Got some good fuel to add to the narrative when I got cancer, then hub died of cancer, then I got cancer again. The problem with the narrative is the main character, ME, learned nothing but helplessness. Rationalization and denial.....2 supporting characters.

I guess what I'm saying is, try rewriting the narrative. Your Mom isn't the Mom anymore, you are. You don't ever have to abuse or neglect your children again. Re-write your story. Start today. I know I am my thoughts. Change doesn't happen overnight, but it starts with "I will not drink, no matter what. I will go through life's challenges sober. I will learn. I will forgive. I will grow."