Thanks Freeowl, your answer has been so different from anything anyone else has said and it seems to be what I too think he is going thru. The thing is I have been asking him to see a therapist and last time we spoke about this he said he would but I don’t think he is really inclined towards or really wants to (though he has seen therapists before) He is doing such a good thing by giving up substances but I worry if he will be able to sustain it without dealing with his issues and without external help. I have been feeling so fustrated about this that we often end up fighting, with me telling him that he really needs to figure himself out and see a therpist otherwise this won’t work. I also worry that is it really the best thing for him to be in a relationship at this point. He might be doing better without someone and their needs to worry about.