Originally Posted by
kevlarsjal2 
My ex however did not want to change although his behaviour was hurtful and unacceptable and he did have access to therapy and everything. He didn't want to though, which I think in that case he did not do the best he could.
Ah, see.... this is the exact type of scenario that thread I posted talks about. I'm going to use this as an example & I I hope you don't take it personally - it's NOT meant that way AT ALL.
It's hard to remove Judgment but that's (to my ear) what you're doing in this statement above.
"He didn't do his best according to MY expectations/method of judging it."
Doesn't mean it's not HIS best - just that it doesn't measure up to what YOUR expectations are, see?
If we're not living in someone else's skin/head - how do we KNOW what their best really is?
I honor myself when I accept that *my* Best changes day-to-day at times, where do I make that allowance for others? What's the baseline/starting point? Same for all or different? Based on what? How can I NOT use personal opinion/judgment in this process?
