I think that's a good way to look at it and I know that my parents did many things wrong but I am sure the reason was that they didn't know better or didn't see any alternatives.
This approach is helpful as long at people do change for the better as soon as they have the chance to learn how to deal with things differently. Which both my parents are (more or less successfully) trying to do.
My ex however did not want to change although his behaviour was hurtful and unacceptable and he did have access to therapy and everything. He didn't want to though, which I think in that case he did not do the best he could.