That future tripping will get the best of us every stinking time.
Cannot tell you how many times I worried about my girls going off with their dad, and finding out that their weekend plans never panned out. Seems all those plans ended up on the back burner the minute it did not benefit him.
Your kids will not always be little, and as they grow they will be able to express their likes, dislikes, and concerns. And before you know it, they will be able to participate in school activities, and sports, and his visits will be revolving around their schedules of activities.
I know it’s easier said than done, and I know too well how unpredictable an active alcoholic ‘s life can be, and unless your kids safety has/ is continually compromised, ( sorry, I don’t remember your whole story) best to take a huge leap of faith, and trust that he will not allow any harm come to them on his watch.
I would end up with painful bouts of gastritis, worrying about matters that were completely out of my control. I had to remind myself that ex husband truly loved his girls, and him being a s*ittyhusband had nothing to do with caring for his kids.
Just keep going forward, breathe, breathe , breathe.