Originally Posted by
Mango212 
Glenjo,
How have you been doing with this?
Sometimes I feel called to sit with pain and to feel it. Especially in quiet places, out in nature. Being alone with me is important, as I get to acknowledge the strength of me. The pain gets released and transformed.
It's up and down really. I'm learning to try and feel my pain instead of numbing it, I too actually go outside a lot more lately, walks, runs and listen to podcasts while I do. Can feel like walking through mud a lot of the times because it's a big overhaul of previous thinking and other times I feel really guided and progressing.
Today, I am depressed. Realised earlier it's exactly 12 weeks ago today that I flew over to see him, when it all went disasterous for us both. I haven't exercised today, did some meditation but kind of just took day to not do much (apart from some work). Im depressed because my feeling is that I'll never get over this, and not to be dramatic, but similar to how the queen described that summer where princess Diana died as one she will never understand, I feel the same about this summer. I'm doing all the recovery stuff, and having good and bad days, but on a human level, it hits me occasionally still like today, where did it all go wrong and how.