Hey michaelj, I have been learning how to deal with the embarassing things that haunt my thoughts from time to time. From time to time actually means often daily. I've done alot of things that I am not proud of. For me, it's sometimes the smallest of things that make my face turn red when I recall them. What I have been doing is reminding myself that I do not do these things when I am sober. I do these things when I am under the control of alcohol. If I allow alcohol into my body, I have no control over the amount that I will consume and that leads to situations that I would never put myself in when sober. I don't know if this is the right way to be dealing with these feelings, but it is working for me.
I am not an active member of AA, so I am not doing any steps with my recovery. My counsellor tells me that living a sober life is a sort of walking amend to those close to me that I have hurt. I know that many in AA would disagree with that and that is fine. It's working for me for the time being.