Mrtoga

Hey Metalrose, this is my first post in these forums, and i've gratefully managed to hold about 4 months of sobriety (Thanks to a longterm treatment facility known as Bridges of Hope.)

I definately understand the shame of not being good enough, of feeling like your less than. Your not, I can absolutely promise this. Your alive for a reason, and your life has tremendous value. Although you may not see it yet, you should tell yourself this daily until you begin to believe it.

I've had ten long years of substance abuse, and it took me a few months, and actively working these steps to begin to change this way of thinking. But I also absolutely had to be removed from society to get this space and healing, and to practice the 12 steps, before I found it.

I couldn't imagine getting sober on the street, the cravings were too potent and the desire too powerful. But that doesn't mean it cant be done. It DOES mean getting uncomfortable everyday, going to meetings, being vulnerable, finding people there that have what you want and trusting that they have your best interest at heart.

This is a process, but do your best not to feel ashamed! This disease of ours is cunning, baffling, and powerful. It wants you to hate yourself so you will pick up another drink or drug. Accepting that we need help, that we face a power so great it has the ability to kill us and hurt everyone around us, is the jumping off place.

I'll pray for you metal, and check in, but you should be proud for those white chips. It takes determination and humility to accept that pain. But you don't have to suffer anymore. We love you, and we hope your doing well.

Godspeed.