IMO and IME .....Addiction is a disease of insanity, Star. So knowing what we should do and actually doing it is familiar to most of us alcoholics, and at some point we do act on the knowledge that our insane choices have to change, or we don't and we keep going and roll the proverbial dice on what follows.
I don't define my life by just being sober as you phrased it. I do, however, define my life by my recovery, as it enables me to do great things daily. If I didn't have hat backdrop, I would be a fraction of the person I have become and want to keep growing into, just being sober. Moving on quickly isn't the right thought for me, because my disease is at heart not about drinking itself. There is so much more to the addicted brain and mind and emotions and....those are the things I began to develop and restore once alcohol was gone.
Easier and softer is a longer concept than I hav energy to delve into this morning!