Originally Posted by
discovery12 
I hate this new him. I don't want to stay, I just wish like many others it wasn't this way. I don't know too many people who marry and start a family and a life with and are faced this this mess that feel any different than I do. As far as family and friends go...I hate they say it like it is so easy and I should just leave him. As always, everything looks crystal clear looking in the window from the outside.
Sorry for the late reply, just saw your reply now. Yes, you're right, saying just leave or dump him or forget about him is very easy from the outside.
As someone mentioned, these people can probably see your hurt and are hoping for the best for you.
I don't know how I can get over not feeling like I was worth it, that my kids were not worth it.
This here is a mistake. It has nothing to do with your worth or your children's either.
That he is choosing to use drugs rather than save your relationship is about him, not you.
Maybe think of it this way. If you could just accept his addiction, not question it, not question his moodiness etc - disrespect, abuse, violence, none of it, just completely accept it, no argument and go on about your lives. Then all would be well right?
Well you can't (and rightfully so) so how does that make you any "less"? It doesn't. You are standing up for yourself and your children, that's commendable.
Now the fact that he has chosen drugs oven all else, that's addiction, that is the uncontrollable drive when they are in the throes of active addiction that calls them every day all day long 24/7. This is not a competition, this is his brain seeking drugs.
Could he break that addiction? Maybe? Some are successful, some are not but right now he is not. That is no reflection on you or your worth.