Originally Posted by
2ndhandrose 
"I just want to be a good person. I know I can be with alcohol out of the picture for good."
Hi Mera,
I just want to say that you are ALREADY a good person. Right here, right now, today.
I have a lifetime of self loathing that I am working on putting behind me. One of the things that kept the self loathing alive and well was my unrealistic need for perfection.
My perfectionism.
Realizing and accepting that I am good, I am good enough in myself, without trying to show the world how good I can be, has opened up the door to loving myself as I am, a work in progress. As we all are.
Thank you for these words. Reading your post made me tear up. I want to believe that. I want to have a healthy self esteem. I want to not feel the need to be perfect or feel disgusting and worthless if I can't achieve that. I hope I can get to where you are. I keep thinking that it is bound to happen for me too.