Originally Posted by
Meraviglioso 
No no! No way! But I live in perpetual fear of relapse, to the point of terror. I had 9 months sober when I got my DUI. I used to be an all day, daily drinker but a few years ago, after rehab, I became a serial relapser. I make it six or four or eight or nine months and then go on a two to three day binge and then quit again. I am ready to cut out these periodic mini binges out because they are always extraordinarily destructive, even if the consequences are emotional.
I suppose that that may be part of my morning anxiety as well, I wake up terrified that today may be the day that I lose my f’ing mind and decide to drink.
It is so weird how scared I am of relapse and how despite this, I do it again, anyway.
Ok good! I didn't think so but the way you phrased that one response had me confused. I understand the fear, you've made it hard to trust yourself. I know that feeling. Just like with others in our lives I believe we can eventually trust ourselves given time. But we need time.