I am so sorry you are struggling. Maybe you are over complicating it. Before you go to bed at night, make a list, mental or put it in your calendar, of everything you are going to accomplish in the morning. In the very beginning, I wrote down Everything, I scheduled my time to the minute, especially on Fridays and Saturdays when I traditionally would drink wine.
Now that schedule is so engrained, I literally have 3 minutes to poop, if I take longer, well I am poop out of luck - joking, but in an hour and a half, I manage barn chores, getting kids ready, getting me ready, breakfast for kids and dogs...
I took my anxiety pills every day in the beginning, now I only need them one week a month.
There is always something to do. I cannot be idle, in the evenings I do needle point, right now I am sitting here doing work, (well I was, now I am having a coffee break), with tomatoes for pasta sauce simmering on the stove. I already have the kids teacher's Christmas gifts done, we have 3 horses to get ready for 2 events in the coming months, I have a huge community event my fun company is leading. The point is, I don't worry about relapse because, 1. I don't drink, that person is gone and 2. I am way to busy to worry about relapse. I put my plans in place, I know what I will say in every situation and I am confidant in my recovered state. Simple, sobriety is the only option and look at all the amazing things I can achieve through it. When I was home after the babies were born on mat leave was the last time I had "time" to do as much canning and cooking as I do now and you know what, dh and I were slimmer, I was at high school weight, we weren't using a gym membership and we were all healthier. What changed, sure work - but I have always kept super busy, but also drinking, it literally stole years from me. It stole and changed my time. It's gone and we are so much better for it, there will never be another time to drink. I don't think about relapse, I don't even have dreams about it anymore, because it simply will not happen. I no longer have anxiety about it. It is off the table for good and a positive, happy life is all I want.