Thank you for the feedback, all good things to consider.
Keto, yes, I probably am seeing too many people but I feel so stuck and like I need all the help I can get. The psychiatrist I only see occasionally for med management and everything is going fine with that so it is usually just a quick check in, sometimes only by phone.
The psychologist here in Italy is who I was seeing prior to the DUI. When I got the DUI I became suicidal (as I often do when I drink, even without a DUI) and in a moment of lucidity I reached out to a therapist in the US (in order to speak English) who specialises in trauma- to deal not only with the trauma of the DUI and my drinking but also past traumas. It is excessive, she gives me homework, writing exercises and worksheets. I find it exhausting. Yet I feel terrified to NOT do these things. I also feel pressured to prove to others (mainly my ex and eventually the court) how much I care about being sober and how much I am willing to do and how much I am doing.
You may be on to something though. Each time I have relapsed (infrequently now) I follow the generally given advice to add something to my plan. And add I do..... I am so loaded up with help and advice, perhaps I am not adding the right things and maybe taking it more easy would work. I just never want to drink again. But I suppose all the help and advice and programs and medications and exercise and whatever in the world is of little help when in the end I chose to pick up the first drink...
As for the advice to exercise, you are all so right, it is one of the things that helps me the most. But I've got that covered too. In addition to spending hours on my bike daily, I often bike to the gym and do an hour of heavy weight lifting. I go to karate twice a week. One of my villas is a 15 minute walk up a 30% incline, the other is an hour walk up a continuous 30% incline. I would say I spend about 65% of my day vigorously exercising. I am nearly constantly on the move. I like the idea of something slower like yoga though.
I think meditation would be a good fit for me too, though I have never tried the real thing.