My God Highercall! I got a headache and a rolling of my stomach just reading your list of drinks/cigars/smokes. Yikes! No wonder you feel wretched with all the sugars and toxins. I hope you are drinking plenty of water, get re-hydrated. As for what to do, it sounds like you have thought a plan out, now what you need is to put it into action. You can do this. One hour at a time, one day at a time. Hope you start your journey today. And wishing you to feel better with time under your belt. Best wishes dear Highercall!