I'm sorry to hear that Mara. I know that you've been through a lot lately and to be honest sounds like you're really working on making things right. I think that my early mornings have been very important in this last run its sobriety for me. I don't have anything other than lifting heavy weights to recommend to you. But it sounds like you have something good going on the bike already. I feel like sometimes life just requires getting through. Perhaps that's the stage that you are at, just for the moment. And sometimes just for the moment lasts longer than we wanted to. But still, I'm impressed with all of the choices you're making to better yourself and to stay straight and sober. Although you may feel like it's a house of cards, it's not. I can relate to that feeling. I think as a drunk we live so long in fear and hiding, always ready to be found out, that the whole feeling that life is but a house of cards becomes part of our psyche. I know for me in my down moments, and sometimes even in my OK ones, that house of cards feeling persists. The best I can do when it does, is just get through. Congrats again on all the things that you're putting in your life to take care of yourself so you can take care of your children. Stay strong.