Exhausted from melt down. Still have tears. Lets get this straight. It's really not over porn. In honesty I watch it too with him. It's that I have felt sexually and intimately neglected and unsatisfied. Then with this surgery I've felt extremely low. So to turn to see my lover choosing porn over me (how I felt) cut deep. I'm not a prude, Porn is o.k. Just bad timing is all. I love him and maybe another night of dealing with my emotions will work. We have some deeper issues that I think are coming out with this incident. So we will see. I don't want to drink. I know alcohol does absolutely nothing for us. I need to learn to deal with pain. Signing off for the night. Thank you for being there.