D, I know your pain and I have been there before. I got a new iPhone and was looking at pictures that I had on the old one. Last fall there were pictures of how much he was consuming. I would get up at 4:00 am to take care of our dog (so he wouldn’t abuse her) before going to work for the day, and then I would mark his bottles with a sharpie and take pictures of his consumption. It was a waste of time—and after about a month or so, I gave it up. It confirmed what I already knew: he was drinking a lot. His drink of choice was from Seagrams and came in these giant, almost 2-liter bottles. He went through 2 liters in about 2 days. No need to reinforce what I already knew.
Then I started pouring out what was left after his abusive episodes—like if I got rid of what was causing him to be abusive (it wasn’t the alcohol, he was an abuser and alcohol just increased the propensity and level of violence) it would make it go away. Or maybe he would realize how much he was drinking (he knew and admitted to me he had a problem). It sometimes just got him to drink other stuff that he had sitting around from parties we hosted until he could get to the package store. And there was a period of about one week that I was measuring consumption from every bottle—and that is a week of my life I will never get back.
I know how hard it is to make the decision to get away from the relationship; mine ended with police and court involvement and no one wants that. These days, it’s been hard and heartbreaking, but when I go home now, I am at peace. There is no A screaming, ranting, throwing things, hurting me or the other souls in the house. I can sleep. I clean up after myself and life goes on. I do remember the desperation though—and that’s exactly what it was, desperation. I still have difficulty some days with the thought that the person I knew, and fell in love with a long time ago, was never coming back. I don’t know how long it will be for that to fade.
I wish the best to you; take care and make things better for you.