21 Weeks Sober
Hi All,
It's been a long time... I can't say it's been as easy as my last message, which has kind of surprised me, as I thought it would have got even easier...
I've remained sober though and it's 21 weeks now... So I know I've done well, having said that I've had some strong urges to drink, unsure if it's due to some searing heat we've had in England, but it's been one hell of a challenge and although I've been shaky, inwardly I do feel better for it. I've also been experiencing some really intense dreams, always about falling off the wagon and I genuinely am intoxicated in those nightmares, it's been unreal.. Boy!! What relief I felt when I actually awoke!! I suppose I was always going to encounter moments like this from what I've read, and it's one of the hurdles I've successfully overcome... I've also had to combat the boredom stages and tell myself it's normal to feel this way, as all people whether ex alcoholics or not experience periods where they're at a loose end, however as I used to crack open a bottle to fill those moments, I am now going through twiddling my thumbs.. At least I know though I'm going through the norms of reality now and it's not a false experience, so that realization makes me feel much better... I am looking better now, mentally more focused and I'm going out and feeling so confident, even at a barbecue when everyone else was drinking, I really held my own and I felt people were envious as I had more stimulating fun without the alcohol intake... It's moments like that that makes it all worth it. So that's me for the time being, sorry it couldn't be more rosy, but I wanted to give you all an honest account of my events..
Please any of you that read this, persevere, as I could have slipped, but I dug deep... I've got an addictive personality by nature, so if I can do it then you all can.. That party was a clear eye opener, I wasnt even thinking about alcohol and drank water throughout and I can guarantee I was the only one children apart that awoke the next day clear headed and smiling...