Originally Posted by
Hevyn 
Hi Trelkovsky. It took me a few times, but I finally got it right. I have over 10 yrs. sober now. I know you can get the job done.
It's no longer fun, it sucks the life out of us, it brings us misery. I'm so glad we know that now.
10 years is quite the accomplishment Hevyn, Very inspiring. You are absolutely right by the way. Its really a miserable existence being in a slave relationship to this poison.
To update my day. I took a walk through the city tonight after catching a movie with a friend and his girl.
Walking home at 23.30 I saw a lot of drunks. heard a lot of screaming, laughing, people pushing each other, ready to start a fight, cars maniacally honking their horns without cause. What a utter mess and it only start to get bad around that time. I bet by now as im typing this its complete chaos in the city.
The crowds spread around town actually stroke me as quite antisocial in nature.
What a pain in the neck I must have been all these years for the sober or casual drinkers to be around..
I really felt a extra knot in my stomach walking home. more than usual. not afraid really. just hyperaware and on alert. I have had that "looking over my shoulder" feeling for near 20 years. Thats one of the reason I started drinking heavily. I love people I know but have little fondness for crowds of people I don't know if that makes any sense. Once I get to know them a little I usually relax more.
Anyway. Watching this spectacle tonight made me just want to get home and regain some peace.
The night spent with friends was good. My anxiety was acting up, but it would have been bad anyway at this point. Im sweating, got spasms, some stomach pain and the feeling of guilt all over me. Tomorrow will hopefully be better.
Im just happy I had a good night with friends instead of sitting at home in scrutiny, thinking about all the wrong I have done in my life, and how I've been wronged in the past. That do not solve anything.
Anyway. Just some thoughts. Im grateful for being back here, just taking it one day at a time. Day 3 tomorrow.
guys