Not doing so well over here.
There is this predictable cycle that happens every year when my family leaves for Greece (both my parents and my sister and her family) and each time I start a new job. It's the transition that gets me from the job and the loneliness and sense of abandonment I feel when my family leaves. They aren't doing anything wrong to go on vacation (for 5 weeks) but my soul suffers every time and I cannot for the life of me figure out why this hurts me so much.
On top of that my husband and I aren't getting along- he slept in the guest room for the first time last night. Even though years of fighting he has never done this (although we agreed to it.) It felt nice having my space in the bed since I really don't like sharing it but of course this doesn't seem right. I am confused- I don't know what we are doing. And I am extremely foggy from the sugar I've had these last 2 days in a row. I'm as food hungover as it gets and my behavior yesterday and the day before was no different than when I was drinking- the ditching of my plans to eat, the focused shopping, the isolation and compulsion around the eating and finally the altering of my mood- it's just sick.
I'm torn apart.
I feel so lonely and lost.
I am in tears.
But I know I will get through this somehow.