Back Again
I feel like this is my thousandth time saying,"I am done with this" and have quit for a month recently, in the past have quit for month at a time. I am not doing well, this is day 1, yep back to day 1. It has been a rough year, my wife has cancer, they caught it very early and she just finished chemo, but that has been a tough haul on both of us. We are going away this weekend to celebrate her last chemo, and of course going to a wine town that I really shouldn't be going to. I know I have a drinking problem, and I know I want to stop. I am so tired of drinking, and yet I go back to it over and over again. I am not an AA person, I have been to the meetings, and it was just not for me, I know it has helped a lot of people, so I am not putting it down, just not my thing. I don't know how to stay stopped, when the anxiety comes, and the problems rise, I turn right back to it and justify it, like everyone with an alcohol problem does.
Day 1, and I am going forward. God help me ! Thanks for listening.