FD, I am so sorry you are going through this. I don't dehumanize the person suffering, I dehumanize the disease. So many alcoholics I know, recovering now, are the nicest people. Sometimes I try to imagine them "drinking" and it's difficult. I feel that alcoholics need to "love" themselves to start the recovery process. Someone elses love is not enough, as they feel unworthy.
By letting Richard go, you gave him the greatest gift of love you could. He knows you loved him and IF he passes, he'll understand that love. Unfortunately, you will never understand it, if that makes sense.
I hope that Richard makes it, just like Nancy above. Never say never ..... I have faith in Richard and in God. It's his battle now and I pray that God gives him the weapons of Faith Love and Hope to win!
Keep the Faith!