Hi Hope. I've experience as a problem drinker, now sober, and trying to help someone stop drinking. Here's a hint - I was only successful in fixing myself.
Hard as it seems, you will benefit from stepping back from your AH when he's like this. It's not clear from your post whether that's all the time, most of the time or occasionally. Throwing suggestions at him is futile, as you've found. Do you have any ability to get away from him? It could be within the house, or maybe outside it.
It's clear that these episodes are having a detrimental effect on you, and stepping away, if you can, might give your AH some space to think for himself. You might even want to set an example by attending Al-anon.
Look after yourself. You are worth it.