growingstronger…..the reason that I asked that question is because it might pay for evaluation and treatment of any ongoing issues...especially for ruling out any other co-occurring diagnoses....like the list that I suggested, earlier...
He may not be agreeable to any suggestions that you have....but, there is a chance that he may be.....
On another note....if he came to you to discuss certain issues in his life...you have every right to express your opinion.....doesn't mean that you get a vote...lol....but, you do have a right to express your opinion.....
There is. also, a chance that he could be "sipping" again...without you knowing it...or, even shifted to another substance (s)…..that is not uncommon , especially, if he is not working a program.
He is at a very difficult age...in that he is only 24 and probably still a bit immature (on top of everything else)….and, at this age...peers tend to be Everything to them....and, often don't want the stigma of AA--being an "alcoholic"....or not being cool enough. There is often a lot of drinking and drug usage in late teems and young adults....
At his age...there are so many forces at play...especially, the dependence/independence issues with the parent figures....
No doubt, he has a lot of growing up to do in the next coming years....
As parents...you are still his teachers (and consultants) about life.....
It is imperative that you teach him what boundaries are (by your own example....
Even though you have little to no actual control....you still have the potential of a lot of Influence.....you will always be his parents and he will always be your son.....family connections always run deep....we never forget them....
I think that a couple of things that often come to play, for the parents is the power of "guilt" that parents often harbor...for any number of reasons....and the fear that the child may stop loving them.....
No fear...if the child loved you at 6yrs.old...they will always love you...even if that love looks like it is buried very deep....and, even if they act like they don't love you.....
Still, and all, they must learn to resect the rules of society....and treat you with respect....