Hi, growingstronger.
Welcome.
Boundaries are a good thing. We set them for ourselves, not for others.
It can be difficult when your child is used to a certain behavior from you and your husband, but it can be done.
On the phone, you could start with, “I won’t continue to speak with you when you are disrespectful. This conversation is over.”
Then hang up and block him.
I am assuming that he comes to your house whenever he wants to, probably when he wants to give you a tough time about whatever is going wrong in his life at the moment.
I can’t offer advice about how to put a stop to that. Perhaps others will have some insight.
But.....You are not his verbal punching bag.
Good luck.