Originally Posted by kevlarsjal2

Sorry for posting yet again...

Right now I feel like drinking looks like an option (not a good one) again, for the first time in months. My life has been so painful so far and it gets too much to process or deal with sometimes. I never get quite enough time to recover from one painful thing when the next already happens. It keeps adding. I wish I could still numb it, just for a night. Like I could do it with the booze for a while. I know it stopped working for me and I don't want to go back to having to drink all day every day ever again. I just wish I could turn off the pain sometimes. Constant pain. It's so hard. Sometimes I really lose hope that it will change. I am still young, I don't want my future to be as painful as my past was. But it keeps coming. Always more pain. And more. I am so exhausted.

And I have to go through it alone. Always alone when life gets tough. It's always the same, it just keeps repeating.