What Sasha said - I had exact same experience. Letting go is more descriptive of what I experienced. “Accepting” worked in a way that I accepted that he will lie, drink, cheat and steal money, and I could not love him into a functional person. I also had to let go of exceptionality of his suffering - his life was actually pretty swell and care-free from my perspective.
I will never really know what went (and still goes) through his alcoholic brain, sober now....