What Mango said about none of this being your fault or responsibility. Yes, I still struggle with this from time to time--but seeing the words that it is not my responsibility is helpful. The A is the only one who can change their situation and that is so very hard to accept sometimes. Mine was an Abusive A and I still find myself missing him and feeling sorry for him--and that is my issue to work on.
And Dandylion, the cat's birthday is the only excuse for drinking that I didn't hear, haha! I loved that, thank you!