Originally Posted by
Sasha1972 
With respect to trailmix's comment - it sounds to me like "disengaging" (you do your alcoholic thing over there and I'll be over here working on me, not hanging onto you to try to prevent your alcoholic thing) rather than "accepting" (and remaining indefinitely in) a situation which is unhealthy.
I totally agree with you Sasha. I ponder if one is even possible without the other. If you are not an alcoholic, how can you accept the behaviour of an alcoholic. I don't even mean the actual drinking per-se - so someone is sitting there pouring beverages for hours, that you can ignore. The constant search for alcohol, the constant focus on alcohol (when drinking or not) and all the fallout from that, the missed responsibilities, the self-centered focus etc etc etc. I don't know that it can be done, it's not any kind of "normal".
Disengaging is natural I think, for some it is a decision, for others just a natural progression.