Hi Meg,
I was in a similar situation back in 2012, however heroin was our drug. I was a month short of two years sober and my (then) boyfriend had 90 days, most of which were courtesy of a recent jail stay.
He had gone through periods of not returning my calls, blowing off plans to go to a concert or would call me at odd hours of the night to talk. I saw so much of myself in him that I found it hard to just walk away. On Memorial Day weekend, he picked me up and brought me back to his place-where I later found myself, virtually alone, in a bathroom with a bag of dope, a shoe string and a needle while my boyfriend was passed out on the living room floor. I was an hour from home, without a car and primed for a relapse!
Long story short, I reached out to some friends and ended up flushing the **** which sparked a huge argument between us when he came to. My friend picked me up, fed me, took me rollerblading, we watched movies-I did what REAL (sober) people do for fun! I found a new boyfriend, who became my husband and we've been together for 5½ years.
As for my ex, that argument over drugs was the last time we spoke. I learned that he died of an overdose last year. He left behind a son the same age as my son, as well as a daughter who was born a few years after we stopped talking. That girl will never know her father. Some people are just incapable of changing and as my dad tells me, you can't save everyone.
Remember your happiness is an important part of your recovery. Hopefully he'll come around but if he doesn't, you have to know that it's because HE'S not ready yet; it has nothing to do with you.