Wise words, CO, so true. My son could have written that letter...or someone else's husband...or brother...or parent...or friend.
The harder I tried to save my son, the more comfortable his world of addiction became. Never paying the consequences, never learning the lessons he needed to learn, never seeing clearly what a god awful mess addiction would make of him...because I was always there to clean up the mess...just as he and his addiction wanted. Sometimes I wonder if he didn't create a mess, just to test that I was still there with the dust pan and would make "deals" to try to stop him.
Since I am constantly hurting others, my brain suffers from self-loathing 24/7.
This is the sad part, they cannot love anyone until they learn to love themselves and that won't happen as long as they are using.
Thanks CO, as always your posts inspire me and poke at my brain.