I am so sorry to hear about Richard...at this moment I have tears in my eyes...
I understand some of the guilt and the feelings you are having at this moment..I felt the same one when my brother committed suicide and again when I broke up with Curt (my exboyfriend)..I didn't want to leave..and I still love him very much although I'm in a new relationship..I just didn't know how to stay and keep my sanity...
I'll be praying for Richard..